"I felt wretched and confused falteringly I managed to say, "I'm puttingso much stress on my friends." Kelly butted in here, "Susanna that'stotal crap and you know it, we both love you and will support you throughthick and thin." "Hear, hear," echoed Shonali.Jill cocked her head to one side, looking at me and said, "It's up to youlove, but on reflection I would seriously think about hypnotism to easeyour anxiety."I thought about this for a while and finally nodded my head. "Ok, I'lltry that, it may calm me down a bit, but nothing heavy - please," Ibegged.As an aside I mentioned that I had recently received my new passport withmy new picture and name, but even though I had ticked female on the formI was still classed as a male, I felt really bad about this.Smiling Jill then told me about the Gender Recognition Panel which is theonly organ of government that can change my sex, however there arecertain rules before they will change the birth sex of a person.However as it is a panel there. Wasn't dating anybody. My main friends were out of town and I typically don't go to bars. Especially alone. So there I was. On the wordlwide classified ads to see if someone, anyone was nearby. Didn't matter. Girl, guy, group, I just needed to get my rocks off. I guess I was a bit luckier than some in that for me I was open to all.I saw an ad in the "men seeking men" section for a self described "fuck party." It was open to all, but I noticed it was just a couple of blocks away from a highly concentrated area of gay bars. I responded to it. And about a dozen others.The fuck party was the one that responded first. It basically said come in. Get comfortable. And have sex. There would be porn playing and music. Drinks if you wanted them. No d**gs would be offered. I liked that part. I kind of thought it would be a kind of big orgy. So I said I'd be there after I sent the pics of myself and saw some of the people that would be there.I drove up and parked. There were.
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